now, now. go away, my nightmares. anyway, it's been a relieving week. i'm out of trouble i think.. Thank God, really. and i decided i want a toyota trueno AE86 for a car. preferably with japanese words by the side of the car. and preferably the japanese words say the name of a tofu shop. although a nissan GTR is not bad too. i want to be a street racer. if can be cool like edison chen, or like jay chou aka takumi who drives with one hand under his nose, even better.

there is no point indoing anything i do. my life is just in suspended mode. it'll last for quite a while, unless someone cares enough to help me undo all this pain. plainly, it's been a bad year for me. as in almost everything went so wrong and my life's so screwed up now. i wish i could re-do this year again. i would do so many things differently. i know this is bad thinking but i can't help it. i can't do anything. i feel so damn useless and helpless. this is plain depressing. shit, haven't felt this bad before i think. a new low. i need to get out of this hole. i need to start anew, somehow.

please say a prayer for me. i am in a little trouble.